The perfect bridal shower is more than just a group of women getting together toasting to the new bride to be.  Instead, there is much expenditure to consider.  For example, if you are renting a room or banquet facility, you will need to pay for the location.  If you choose to have the event at a restaurant or other location that offers catering services, you will be expected to purchase your food from them, and in addition to the cost of the food, you will also need to pay for the wait staff.  Then, of course, there are the decorations to consider, as well as the party favors, invitations, thank you notes, and any other assorted items which may be needed. Who is supposed to pay for this extravaganza?

While there is no hard and fast rule to the payment for this party, one rule is set in stone that is the rule that absolutely positively absolves bridal shower guests of any monetary obligations.  In other words, if you choose to host a bridal shower at a restaurant, the attendees should never be expected to pay for their food.  Thus it is up to you, the hostess, to find other methods of payment.   Generally speaking, the bridesmaids and maid or matron of honor will collect money amongst themselves to host that bridal shower for the bride. While the bride’s mother should never be in the hostess’ seat herself, it is entirely acceptable for her to help out with the bridal shower budget. Of course, if a restaurant party is a strain on the bridesmaids’ purses, it is an acceptable alternative to hold the bridal shower at someone’s home, backyard, or clubhouse. Food may be catered, or if finances again are too tight to manage, it is entirely acceptable to simply have some easy to prepare finger foods available. 

Now that the money questions has been answered, you may be wondering if there are other pitfalls in the realm of proper bridal shower etiquette that need to be weathered.  As a matter of fact, there is a list of a few dos and don’ts the clever hostess, bride, and guest will know to commit to memory:

Do not expect your guests to pay for anything at the shower; the food, tip, room rental, and any other expenses are the responsibility of the hostess and bridesmaids.

If you are the bride’s mom, leave the hosting of the shower to someone else.  Traditionally, it is the job of the maid or matron of honor to see to it that the bride will receive a shower.

If you know that there are a number of showers planned, please consider combining them into one bigger event.

If you do hold a number of parties, please be sure not to invite the same guest twice in the course of the parties.

If you are the recipient of a bridal shower, please be sure not to use any presents you received until after the wedding.  If for some reason the wedding falls through or the marriage is annulled before you and your new husband had a chance to live together, the gifts need to be returned.

When opening presents, it is the bridesmaids’ responsibility to record the gift’s giver, so that the bride may later on send a note of thanks to the giver. 

Co-ed bridal showers are becoming more and more the norm, and hence it is acceptable for the groom to attend, if indeed a co-ed shower is planned.  If, however, the party is not expressly co-ed, it will be awkward to have him attend, thus please be sure to specify if a shower is co-ed or not.

If the groom does happen to be present at the location where the shower is held, but will not be an actual part of the shower itself, it is considered good form to present the bride with a bouquet of flowers, and the attending ladies with handshakes, hugs, and a few words of appreciation before retiring to another room.  Simply dashing for the living room with the big screen TV in time for the football game would not be appropriate and is downright rude.

 

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